i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”
it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud
“Be hydrated”, they said
“It will give you good hair, and clear skin,” they said
“It’s good for you,” they said
“I CANNOT EVEN SLEEP BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO URINATE EVERY HALF HOUR”, I SAID
At the bar there was such a crush that the liquor rang out three times and emergency rations had to be rushed in by a squad of four flying lushes. It was one of those nights when everyone felt, for some reason, he really never had to go to work again at all.
In one moment everyone had to have a drink on everyone else. Men who wouldn’t loan their own mothers three dollars without an I.O.U. heard themselves telling ancestral foes “Keep your money Emil. Spend mine. I got too much.” The orchestra got tight to a man so that the drummer stood up on his traps, alleged he was Gene Krupa and wanted to buy some cigarettes, then toppled into the sax man’s lap. Immediately the sax man began taking a collection for the drummer and turned it over to the pianist. Who promptly rose to spend every dime back on the dancers.
Going to work out so I can eat more potato chips.